Part.

1

润色专家意见：“Ferroptosis is regulated by multiple genes, promoting and antagonizing it in several ways (Lei et al., 2022).” This introductory sentence tells the reader that this paragraph will discuss these genes, but the next few sentences are not related to this. Please check whether this was a mistake, and consider modifying this introductory sentence to reflect the content of this paragraph.

译文: 这句概括性的句子告诉读者接下来将要讨论这些基因，但接下来的几句话于此无关。请检查这并考虑修改此句以反应本段内容。

编辑解读: 写好医学稿件主题句有哪4步？

主题句是表达段落主旨的句子。段落中的所有其他内容都应与主题句相关。主题句通常以简单陈述开头。一个好的主题句足够具体，可以清楚地理解段落中的期望，但也足够笼统。可以把它想象成一个路标：它应告诉读者稿件的论点是朝哪个方向发展的。主题句应该包括两个关键内容：(1) 本段主题; (2) 段落的中心点。在主题句之后，应用文献或例子来阐述该主题句。要确保每一个主题句和段落都符合整篇稿件所要表达的观点。

写好一篇稿件的主题句通常遵循以下4步：

Step 1: 确保有一个强有力的陈述---------总结全文的目的和论点；

Step 2: 起草主题句子---------对稿件结构做一个大纲，计划想在每一段中说什么，以及你将使用什么证据来支持该主题句；

Step 3: 用证据展开---------段落的其余部分应该从主题句中逻辑地展开，这有助于保持段落的重点：你所写的一切都应该与主题句中表达的中心思想相关。

Step 4： 精炼主题句子--------在写作时对它们进行修改，确保它们与每一段的内容相匹配。

Part.

2

润色专家意见：“More nerve fibers with a certain length and density were observed in the LV-srf group” This is a vague description of the fibers and more specific details would improve understanding here.

译文: 对纤维的描述比较模糊，提供更具体的细节有助于提高理解。

展开全文

编辑解读: 为了提高论文的可读性，让非专家读者也能更好地重复实验并理解实验结果，实验方法和结果应尽量提供更多细节信息。此例句中需明确“a certain length and density”的具体长度和密度是多少。

Part.

3

润色专家意见：My main suggestion is to go through the results section and to make sure that the groups that are being compared are very clear. Sometimes it was difficult to tell which groups were being referred to. Giving the groups an abbreviated name, which is used consistently throughout the manuscript, would be helpful. For example, the ovariectomized group that underwent fasting could be the OVF group, and the ovariectomized group that did not undergo fasting could be the OV group.

译文: 建议浏览结果部分，确保所比较的组别非常清晰。有时很难分辨哪些组被提及，这时组别用缩略语命名会很有帮助。例如，接受禁食的去卵巢组可以是OVF组，未接受禁食的卵巢组可以为OV组。

编辑解读: 稿件中如果组别名特别长可以考虑使用缩略语。缩略语的使用方法同正文及图表，

英文中常用的过渡词--------加性过渡词

加性过渡词用来引入新的信息或例子。它们可以用来扩展、比较或澄清前面的内容。

扫码加微信详细咨询太和智慧养老产品和平台服务！